The rest of my fourth grade passes without me ever finding any satisfying answer to the question of whether I should embrace or resist the changes to the timeline. On one hand, I'm closer than I've ever been with Elliot, which alleviates some of the worries I have about not being able to make a wish with the statue. On the other, I feel more and more lost and confused as I navigate a world that's becoming so different from the one I once knew. The sense of security I felt from going through life in "New Game+" is entirely gone now.

I'm also feeling more and more anxious about Ember's absence. The whole reason I'm in this situation in the first place is because Elliot wished for her to be his childhood friend. So where is she!? We're already 10, she's running out of time to show up during our childhood.

Despite being preoccupied, I continue to get outstanding grades, and I manage to maintain a good relationship with my school friends.

As we reach fifth grade, however, the bullying aimed at me starts shifting in tone and intensity. One day, as I'm taking a bathroom break during lunch, I hear two girls come in, talking about me:

"Yeah, Andrea is so creepy. Why does she try so hard to look like a boy?"

"The others are talking a lot about it. It could be because her parents wanted a boy so much that they're forcing her, or maybe because he really is a boy but his penis is so small that they couldn't find it. Or maybe she thinks she can become a boy if she tries hard enough, like the people we see on TV."

What kind of weird rumors are people spreading about me? It... hurts. Not because any of it is true, but because they're so quick to just invent their own reality instead of asking me about it. They're not interested in who I am or why I do anything, only in the imaginary character they pretend I am.

They're only talking behind my back for now, and if I hadn't happened to be in this bathroom stall at this exact moment, I wouldn't even have known that this is how people think of me. So should I just ignore it, pretend I never heard anything? But the issue is that I did... So now, every time someone looks at me, I'll just remember the conversation between these girls and wonder what kind of weird fantasy they're playing in their head about me. Ignorance really is bliss at times.

And this really comes at the worst possible time. I've realized, over the past few months, that I'm more and more interested in trying out "girly" things that I couldn't exactly go for when I was a boy. I want to try some of the cute clothes I see in stores, and I get a bit jealous when I see other girls wearing pretty pieces of jewelry. I also found myself wanting to fit in a bit more with the others, especially as I approach middle school. I rejected a lot of these thoughts at first, but they kept creeping back up, making me feel like I'd be giving up on this chance at experiencing life from the other side of the gender gap if I don't indulge a little.

But now, if I make some effort to be more feminine, people will think I'm forcing myself because of the bullying. And I can't even exclude the possibility that, after a few years of it happening, it is actually altering the way I think about the way I present myself.

Ignorant to the emotional turmoil happening in the stall next to them, the two girls continue:

"Well, if she wants to be a boy so bad, maybe we should just let the boys have her and see how they treat her. Maybe she should change in the gym with them for PE, so we can know if they see her as a girl."

"Ha! They already think she's a weirdo for trying so hard to fit in with them, no way they'd ever accept her as one of them."

We're in early fifth grade, so I can't assume the first girl was wishing any violence on me there, but... I still feel really scared. If anything happens to me, who can I even count on to have my back?

Elliot suddenly comes to my mind. Despite the rumors, he's still hanging out with me. I always feel safe with him, and I'm sure that he'll take my side if things ever get really ugly. We're also in the same class for the next two years, which provides some relief and helps me calm down a bit. Things will work out, one way or another.

With the two girls having left, I finally get out of the cabin and wash my hands.

I'm sitting in the shade with Elliot, in a spot that became usual for us over the years. As we reach the end of our current conversation, I ask:

"Hey, do people say bad things about me behind my back?"

He looks in the distance, hesitating, before finally responding:

"Yeah, they are. Really nasty stuff, even. One time you weren't there, some of the guys came and asked me why I was friend with a 'perverted crossdresser', and implied that there was something wrong with my sexuality for being friends with you."

"Ah? That bad?"

While I'm used as the excuse, it looks like they're actually going after him with these accusations. He's taking shots for the sake of our friendship.

As I think about that, I feel a strange pressure in my chest, and blood rises to my cheeks. I'm really grateful to have him as a friend.

"Eh, it's fine. I don't know why they hate you so much, but I know talking to them won't solve anything."

"Should we tell the teachers?"

"Like that ever fixed anything."

I let out a sigh, knowing full well he's right.

"But isn't it annoying? You could probably make them stop if you stopped being my friend."

He turns towards me and, while looking me straight in the eyes, says:

"No. You're my best friend, no matter what they say about you. I know that you don't deserve any of this, so I want to stay with you through it. If things get too hard for you, or if they start harassing you directly... I want to be there for you, to be the one who will always see you for who you are, and to be the one you can come to for help."

Tears flow down my cheeks as he finishes talking. He's thinking about me first and foremost, refusing to give up on me because he knows how much that would hurt me. He doesn't let what the others say get to him, because we're close enough that he can trust his own experience instead.

Seeing that I'm crying, he reacts:

"Woah, are you okay!? Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

I rub my eyes with my sleeve before saying:

"No, no. I'm actually really happy right now. Thank you so much for being my friend."

Things stay calm for a while after that. I can tell that people have a negative opinion about me through the way they tend to interact with me during group assignments, but the badmouthing continues to happen solely behind my back, allowing me to avoid most of it. However, I expect this balance to break sooner or later, and my prediction comes true around the middle of the school year.

As we're having lunch, a group of boys approach my desk. The one in front, presumably their leader, slams his hand in front of me and asks, loud enough for the whole class to hear:

"Hey, is it true that you want to grow a dick so you can pretend to be a boy even more?"

Okay, at this point the rumors got so ridiculous that I don't even feel affected by that completely absurd accusation. I finish swallowing my bite, gently pat my mouth with my napkin, and finally respond:

"No."

The boys laugh, followed by their leader saying:

"Hear that everyone, now she's denying it! Don't even try, Andrea, you're always copying us, trying to act like a boy when you don't know how. One day, some guys are going to really get mad at you for trying too hard."

He puts the emphasis on my name, as if to remind me that it's a girl's. However, the only thing I've ever done was keep my hair short and wear clothes I got from the boy's section of the stores. And what does he mean, I 'don't know how' to be a boy? I've been one for seventeen years before getting here!

Before I have time to respond anything, a voice shouts from the back of the class:

"Are you threatening her?"

We all turn towards it, seeing Orelia standing straight, her hands on her hips, her expression more serious than I've ever seen before. Behind her, a group of girls hang their heads low. She walks forward, an intimidating aura surrounding her as she reaches the group of boys.

"Andrea prefers wearing boys' clothes. That's it! What's the point of coming up with all these rumors and accusations against her?"

"Well, it's just..."

Orelia makes the gesture of a mouth closing shut with her hand while shushing the boy talking before saying:

"I'm not done talking. She never hurt anyone, never did anything to deserve the shit you're slinging at her."

She looks around, making eye contact with everyone watching the scene unfold before continuing:

"Why do you all treat her like this? Are you all really so fragile that the way someone else dresses makes you uncomfortable? Or are you just jumping in because it's easy to hate the person you're told to hate?"

The leader of the boys tries speaking again:

"No, actually, it's just that..."

She quickly shuts him up again.

"I don't want to hear it. Whatever excuse you think you have, it's lame. If I hear any more bullshit like this, I'll do everything in my power to make whoever's speaking it regret their life choices."

She grabs my arm and drags me outside the class, slamming the door behind us. We walk away, eventually reaching a little nook in a corner of a hallway. She looks at me before apologizing:

"Sorry about that, I've just been getting really frustrated with the way everyone treats you."

"No, it's fine. Umm... thank you?"

We aren't close by any means, I've barely even talked to her since we started school. While I remember how things went when she learned I was a girl, she also never showed any kind of hostility towards me. So here I am, mostly confused as to why she'd come to my help.

"You're welcome! But yeah, some of my friends started repeating the rumors about you, so I had a talk with them, but then the boys decided to go ahead and harass you directly. Ugh, so annoying... I don't think that's going to end that whole problem, but I hope it'll help calm things down somewhat."

"Okay, but... why? We barely know each other, so why help me?"

"Because I noticed that you were hurt. And my sister has a friend like you... Or, well, probably not exactly like you, but who gets attacked like you do, and she told me that even just a bit of help can make a huge difference. So here I am."

"That's... Yeah, I feel a lot better. Thank you again."

She smiles.

"Any time. Oh and feel free to talk to me about problems you might have. I know you have Elliot as a good friend, but if you can't tell him about something for any reason, I can at least listen."

"I'll keep that in mind. Let's go back before they start looking for us."

After that incident, things calm down around me. Orelia was right in predicting that the rumors wouldn't just die down immediately, but nobody throws any more accusations at me directly, and my classmates start warming up to me, especially her close friends. Before long, we start eating lunch all together, everyone sharing desks and slowly growing more comfortable as a group.

That's yet another major deviation from the old timeline, but I'm done caring about it. At this point, any attempt to course-correct would just end up making me miserable, so might as well go with the flow.

I'm even closer to Elliot than I was as a boy, I have a bunch of friends I could never have gotten along with before, and I have an adorable baby brother. On top of that, my mom has a new best friend she didn't properly meet in the other version of the world, and I have a Switch waiting home for me every day. This life is good.

However, getting closer to a group of girls amplifies some of the attraction I feel towards more feminine things. With the rumors floating around me not having vanished completely, I don't feel confident in making any moves to express my awakening femininity, but... maybe soon?

It's also around that time that pressure mounts on us to look at middle schools to attend. I know that most of the class is going to stick to the nearby public school, but I managed to attend a prestigious private school in my last life. Considering my current academic performance, I have no doubt I can go there again.

It's over lunch that Elliot brings up the subject:

"Hey, I was thinking of doing the entrance exam for the Promise Private Academy. It's pretty close to where we live, so I was wondering if you'd try too."

I can't tell him that I will pass the exam without any trouble, so I decide to feign concern:

"Well, it's a private school, so I don't know if my parents will be able to afford it. I'll have to talk to them about that."

"Oh, yeah, I think you'll be fine. I heard my mom talking on the phone with yours, giving her pointers on how to join some financial help program."

"Wait, really!?"

I already knew about that program since my parents used it last time, but they only found out about it after I expressed my desire to attend a private school. For Elliot's mom to be the one telling them about it... Is she trying to make sure I'll be at the same school as her son? Whatever the case may be, the end result will be the same, so I'm not too fussed about it.

As we enter sixth grade, I can feel that my relationship to the other students stabilized. Some of them still dislike me, but they stopped making that everyone else's problem. Orelia is also becoming one of my best friends, in part thanks to us having spent time together over summer vacations. My parents seem relieved to see me get closer to other girls after all this time, probably because they were worried I wouldn't form a good support group as I enter adolescence. Still, I'm careful not to create any distance with Elliot, in part because I don't want to miss my chance at making a wish, but also because he's still my favorite person to be with.

That being said, I'm glad I have a few girl friends now. My body is starting to change in unfamiliar ways, and even I have enough shame to not just go tell Elliot about it. The hard bumps forming behind my nipples and the slight accumulation of fat on my chest is a stark reminder of what I'll have to go through before I get my hands on that wish.

But now, I'm with people who are going through the same thing. Orelia already has noticeable curves under her shirt, and one of our friends now has to more frequently visit the bathroom for a few days every month. I'm glad to not be there yet myself, but... Well, I know it's coming.

Early in the school year, we complete the entrance exam for Promise Private Academy. I feel confident as I leave the room, not just because I clearly aced it, but also because I have the assurance of having been accepted in my previous life as well. Elliot and Orelia were also there, so we discuss the questions and our answers as we leave the school. I remember doing this with just Elliot last time, so it's a strange feeling to have Orelia with us as well. Thankfully, that means I have one more friend to enter middle school with.

As we enter the parking lot, where our parents are waiting for us, I hear Elliot's mom talking to mine:

"So, you found everything you needed to get financial help?"

"Yes! Thanks to your help, and Andie's academic performance, we've been accepted into the program as long as she passes the entrance exam and enrolls there. She'll need to maintain her grades to keep qualifying, but I'm not worried about that."

Seeing us approach, Miss Moore concludes:

"I'm glad that our children will get to remain together in this new chapter of their lives. It will provide greater stability for my Elliot."

Hearing this, he reacts:

"Mom, I'm old enough to not always need someone to hold my hand now, you don't have to worry so much."

With a teasing tone, his mother responds:

"You say that, but aren't you glad to know that Andie will be attending the same school as you? I remember you commenting on it quite a few times."

He blushes and looks away before responding:

"Well, yeah... but that's because she's my best friend, not because I need her help."

I decide to join the teasing by wrapping my arm around his neck and saying:

"Well, I will be counting on you. So be sure to get us both through middle and high school, eh?"

That gets our mothers to smile, and Elliot to wave his hand dismissively as I let go of him. After that, I say goodbye to him and to Orelia, and get in the car with my mom. As we drive away, I allow my thoughts to drift a bit. Where is Ember? How will my relationship with Elliot continue to evolve? And what other major changes should I expect in the coming years?

So many questions, so few answers. All that's left to do is wait and see for myself.