When Shane, Ilya, Anya and Claudia entered the underground car park, it looked as though a school class had tried to save the ocean and, in the process, had first stolen the props.
Between two rows of parked cars stood several plastic sculptures of sea creatures: a silver jellyfish, two transparent seahorses made from jerry cans, a half-collapsed fishing net arch and a wave of bottles leaning against a concrete pillar. In between lay a curling stone, several empty mineral water bottles, thirty beer bottles and a tray of empty aquavit glasses, which someone had placed very neatly on a bonnet.
Magnus stood right in the middle of it all, holding a beer bottle in one hand and the curling stone in the other.
“Ah,” he said. “What are these funny masks and coats you’re wearing? Is this a themed get-together now?”
Claudia looked first at him, then at the plastic jellyfish, then at the group of Austrian cadets who had gathered around the improvised curling rink.
“Why,” she asked very calmly, “are young people playing with marine debris in an underground car park?”
Cadet Schmalzl immediately raised his hand, as if this were an exam.
“It’s an unofficial reaction and target training session.”
Cadet Greilinger added: “With voluntary fluid intake based on hit rate.”
“Aquavit, beer or mineral water,” said Magnus. “Depending on courage, body weight and future plans.”
Shane looked at Ilya.
“I thought our evening was going to be strange.”
Ilya pointed at the silver jellyfish. “That’s still better organised than the Commonwealth Defence Pact’s defence.”
Several cadets laughed. Others immediately stood to attention, unsure whether it was permissible to laugh at the alliance’s defence in the presence of adults.
Anya stepped forward.
“Where’s Paloma?”
The cadets looked at one another.
Bauer cleared his throat. Berger looked at Haberl. Haberl looked at Ringhofer. Ringhofer looked at Magnus. Magnus was drinking beer and acting as if he were merely a casual bystander.
“Who’s Paloma?” Magnus finally asked.
Anya fell completely silent.
“A young Cuban woman? Dressed as a chambermaid? She came here with three neptunium rings the size of cartwheels and is waiting for us. What have you done with her? And with the rings?”
“The mademoiselle’s name was Paloma? We helped her load the art rings into an ice-white hotel car. She wanted to drive them to the harbour to take them to some rich patron who’d ordered her to do so during the efficiency presentation up there. Six of us are accompanying her to help her. You know, against evil Danish dockworkers in the dead of night,” explained Cadet Köck.
Cadet Walch raised his hand cautiously. “Mutoi decided that a lady with special cargo shouldn’t drive to the harbour alone.”
“Of course he did,” said Ilya.
“Komarova came along too,” said Neuber. “As a chaperone.”
Shane blinked.
“For transporting neptunium?” asked Claudia, both stunned and disappointed.
“They didn’t say that,” said Bögös.
Anya took a slow breath.
“Kuba,” said Shane dryly. “Still, it’s nice to see that international socialism also organises carpooling.”
Anya looked at him with very little humour.
“If Paloma’s driving to the harbour with three rings, we don’t have much time left. We need to find the second car we’ve prepared. It must also have a lead-lined boot.”
“All the cars are locked,” said Pfingstner, pointing to the rows of vans, saloons and service vehicles.
Anya pulled a hairpin from her updo.
“Not for much longer.”
A small, awestruck murmur went through the cadets.
“That’s illegal,” whispered Kassan.
“That’s impressive,” said Guldovacz.
“Both could be true,” said Shane.
Meanwhile, Claudia stepped towards the van with the two shielded barrels. Her dosimeter clicked faster as she drew nearer.
“Everyone away from the barrels,” she said.
The cadets immediately stepped back.
“How far?” asked Karner.
“As far as they can.”
They stepped back again.
Claudia pointed at the plastic rubbish sculptures. “And those things over there — jellyfish, wave, fishing net arch, all of them — push them in front of the entrance to the service ring. Tight. Across. So that no one can get through quickly.”
“Is anyone coming?” asked Kniewallner.
“Someone always comes along eventually,” said Claudia.
“That’s not a proper answer,” muttered Otti.
“It is,” said Claudia. “Just not one for half-baked cadets.”
Magnus raised the curling stone. “Austrian youth, Hessian mission. You heard the lady. Plastic rubbish to the front.”
The cadets set off. Bauer, Berger and Björkhagen grabbed the wave of bottles. Löw and Sadnik stretched the fishing net across the passageway. Hebberling and Holzinger rolled the silver jellyfish in front of the stairs. Rosegger tried to position the seahorses strategically so that they served both as an obstacle and a moral statement.
“Not pretty,” cried Claudia. “Blocking.”
“In Austria, pretty is sometimes obstructive,” said Magnus.
“Then you already have a more efficient culture than Hesse today.”
Anya was already kneeling next to a dark service vehicle, working on the lock. A few cadets stood in a semicircle around her, fascinated as if watching a magic show.
“She’s doing it with a hairpin,” said Schörghofer.
“My aunt can only use hers to stack doughnuts into towers,” said Köck.
“Your aunt is probably not in the Soviet Foreign Service,” said Ilya.
“She isn’t,” said Köck. Then, after a pause: “I hope not.” Only after another pause did he point at Anya in disbelief. “This woman is in the Soviet Foreign Service?”
The lock clicked. Anya opened the driver’s door. Several cadets cheered quietly.
“Quiet,” said Claudia.
“But that was really cool,” whispered Kabicher.
“It’s only cool until someone asks why you’ve learnt how to break into cars,” said Shane.
Anya checked the interior, pulled a lever, opened the rear tailgate and looked inside. The boot was indeed lined with grey lead plates. Inside lay straps, two high-visibility vests, a folded hand pallet truck and a list of Danish abbreviations.
“Found it,” she said.
Claudia came over immediately, looked inside and nodded reluctantly.
“Good. The barrels first. They’ll go right at the back and be secured. Then the three rings.”
“Why the barrels first?” asked Leitner.
“Because they’re more dangerous and mustn’t roll onto the road in the event of an accident,” said Claudia.
Ilya and Shane pushed the trolley with the barrels over. Magnus wanted to help, but Claudia just pointed at him.
“Not you.”
“Why?”
“Because you smell of aquavit, you’re not wearing a protective suit, and we need healthy, fertile men in Hesse if we ever want to become a free state.”
“That’s cultural discrimination.”
“That’s German radiation protection. ”
Magnus stepped back, offended, and instead supervised the cadets barricading the stairwell. Schmalzl, Schneider and Greilinger wedged the fishing net arch between the banister and the wall. Ringhofer slid the curling stone underneath as a stopper.
“If anyone wants to get through there,” said Ringhofer proudly, “they’ll have to respect the ocean first.”
A distant clinking sound came from the service corridor.
Claudia looked up.
Anya did too.
“Faster,” said Anya.
The barrels were pushed into the lead room. Shane steadied the trolley whilst Ilya hooked the straps in. For a moment they worked without arguing, and that was precisely what made it stand out between them more than any sentence.
“Higher on the left,” said Shane.
“I can see it.”
“Then do it.”
“I’m doing it.”
“That’s not doing it. That’s pulling it in a huff.”
Ilya pulled the strap tighter.
“Now?”
“Better.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
“You’re welcome, Drama.”
Anya didn’t look up, but the corner of her mouth betrayed that she’d heard it.
Claudia checked the straps, then the dosimeter.
“Wearable. Not good, but wearable.”
“That’s my motto in life,” said Magnus.
“Please keep your motto to yourself.”
The remaining three neptunium rings were next. Several cadets had to lend a hand: Karner, Kassan, Leitner and Walch took the first, Greilinger and Haberl helped with the second, Pfingstner, Rosegger and Sackl with the third. Claudia gave the orders, Anya secured them, Ilya lifted, Shane stabilised.
“Don’t tip it over,” said Claudia.
“We won’t tip it,” said Walch.
“You’re breathing too optimistically.”
“How does one breathe pessimistically?” asked Berger from the background.
“In Hesse, whenever there’s no Belgian, Brit or Dutchman standing nearby listening,” said Magnus.
Claudia pointed her finger at him without turning round.
“One more word, and you’ll be carrying a barrel – with your bare hands.”
Magnus fell silent immediately.
A dull thud now came from the stairwell. Plastic crunched. The silver jellyfish wobbled, but held.
The cadets froze.
“What was that?” asked Sadnik.
Claudia tightened the last strap.
“The reason why the plastic rubbish is sitting there.”
“You said someone always turns up eventually,” Otti grumbled.
“I was too optimistic, because I was hoping ‘eventually’ would be later.”
Anya slammed the rear doors shut.
“Get in! Not everyone. Just those who are needed.”
“Who’s driving?” asked Shane.
Anya held up the hairpin.
“I’ve opened it. I’m driving.”
“That doesn’t answer whether you can drive,” said Shane.
“You don’t want to know where and what I’ve driven before. All cadets away from the lower entrance; in the worst case, they’ll shoot. Shane and Ilya into the car, but not too close to the barrels. Dr Tiedemann, come up front with me!”
Claudia pulled Ravn’s universal card out of her pocket and didn’t let go of it.
“This will open the front gate for us, Ravn’s universal card.”
Anya looked at her.
Ilya looked towards the blocked entrance. “The cadets?”
Mutoi was gone. So Cadet Bauer stepped forward, a little uncertain, but clearly trying to look responsible.
“We’ll spread out and take cover.”
Claudia looked at her.
“A good solution.”
Shane got in at the back, Ilya next to him. Claudia sat on the other side. Anya took the front seat, started the car and checked the gauges.
Magnus stepped up to the window.
“Am I really not coming with you?”
Claudia looked at him.
“Do you have a driving licence, radiation protection training, or any other skill that might be useful in the next ten minutes?”
Magnus thought for a moment.
“Charm?”
“Stay here, have another drink, and leave us in peace!”
Anya put the car in gear.
The car rolled off.
Behind them, plastic crunched again in the stairwell. A muffled voice swore. The jellyfish was still holding on, but not out of conviction.
Cadet Schmid shouted: “Austria leads unknown pursuers one-nil!”
“Don’t celebrate,” Claudia called from the car. “Push!”
“Who’s the fastest among you?”
Cadet Leitner volunteered immediately. “I’ll break the records.”
Anya handed him Ravn’s universal card. “Hold it up to the card reader. That should open the exit gate for us.”
The cadets hid behind the columns; Magnus raised his beer bottle like a general with a very limited mandate.
Anya looked in the rear-view mirror.
“Now we have to find Paloma and the rings.”
Shane leaned against the lead wall next to Ilya.
“Which harbour is she heading for? Half of Copenhagen is on the water, after all.”
Anya didn’t smile.
“If we don’t find her, Cuba will learn that the Soviet Union holds a grudge when it comes to socialist carpooling.”
Ilya looked at Shane.
Ahead of them, the exit lights remained red, even though Cadet Leitner held the card against the reader in every conceivable way.
Anya braked.
Claudia looked up.
“Why are we stopping?”
A matter-of-fact Danish signal came from the underground car park’s loudspeakers, followed by an automated announcement.
Instead of the barrier opening, a concrete wall fell from the ceiling at terrifying speed, sealing off the car park exit hermetically.
“Radiation protection! Stromberg really has thought of everything. And Ravn is now using that against us as a trapdoor,” groaned Claudia.